I bet he comes in French.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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