We need to rekindle our bromance
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
