Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
My butt remains clenched, sir.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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