she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
