I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
