do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
