allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
