So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
