WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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