You're my little dorito
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
