I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
