You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
