just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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