No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
