if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
