I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
