We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Pants are for mortals
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
