You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
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Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
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I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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