I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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