Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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