OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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