I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
