She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
