Swine flu is the new snow day.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize