There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
What drink are we having for lunch?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
