Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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