I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
