it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
