Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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