Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
