my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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