you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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