Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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