Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
