Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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