Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
