Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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