I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
