I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
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so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize