Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
