By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
