this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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