you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
