Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing