Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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