Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
