after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm experimenting with sincerity
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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