I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
