i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
