I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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