I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
