she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I think a kid would responsible me up
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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