that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
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we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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