i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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