are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Pants are for mortals
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
