If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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