I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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