The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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