so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
