We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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