You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
