and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
