I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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